My boyfriend is not welcome in any of my families' homes. You see, I've made choices they don't agree with. They blame him. They say they know I make my own decisions but my sister tells me about conversations my mom has. She says outlandish things, accusing him of hitting me, or worse, my daughter. The bottom line is I could not possibly be making my own decisions or we would both be banned. Let me say this. Will does not, nor has he ever abused me in any way, much less my daughter. Last October my parents and sister actually had much worse things to say about him. Baseless claims meant to scare me into not seeing him anymore. They even went so far as to threaten to take away my daughter for her "own safety". Her father and I talked the situation over and decided if the situation warranted and I was truly afraid she would be in Korea in 72 hours.
That was my first red flag to their view into my life. They would make my life hard, if not impossible, to live in harmony with them unless I made decisions they approved of. And I made only decisions they approved of. Until now it has been very tense. My mother several times has refused to acknowledge his presence at all. She has driven away rather than come into a restaurant where he was. She refused to sit on the same pew with him at church. My father has told me they would rejoice if we broke up. He has called him a loose cannon and unmotivated. All this because my father would not take the time to sit down and talk with him as will has offered repeatedly.
Since I have moved to Nashville I have not heard from my parents at all. To be honest its been pretty peaceful. I have not been under their scrutiny. For the first time in a long time I feel free. Free to actually make my decisions for my daughter and I as I see fit without fear of retribution. My mother did allow my little sister to visit me. I was very happy to see her. She wanted to stay longer than mom would allow. I wouldn't allow that. She is still a minor living under my parents house. I won't help her defy them. Now when she is an adult I will not shun her as I have been should she make decisions I may not agree with. There are always lessons to be learned and this is one.
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