Now, let me set the stage for you. Last fall a woman who I had come to consider part of my family, my bff, and all that implied, lied to me about Bill. She told me he said something to his best friend, the guy she is currently sleeping with. What did I do? I did what anyone would do with their partner. I confronted him. I asked him if he had said whatever it was she said he said. (Was that as hard to follow for you as it was for me?) Granted, we'd had a few bad months but I wasn't about to accuse him without giving him a chance to explain. Turns out there was nothing to explain. He hadn't said what she said he said to his best friend. And his best friend hadn't turned around and in some form of pillow talk told her he said whatever it was he didn't say. Bill's best friend is one of those guys that has integrity and discretion. Even if Bill had said something to him, he never would have told her to let it get back to me. It would have never been repeated.
So that was last fall. Since then she has become fairly frosty. I almost feel like we broke up. We used to text constantly, girl talking about anything and everything. Bill thinks it's because she knows I don't have any secrets from him and she worries about what I may or may not tell him that he may or may not repeat to his best friend. For two weeks she didn't say a word to me. Then Bill's best friend had a Halloween party and she showed up. She had a few shots and then we were bffs again. Then morning dawned and she was frosty again. Thanksgiving she went to her mom's in Kentucky. No contact for five days and then she returned asking me to watch her children so she could go out with another guy. Now I know her and Bill's best friend aren't exclusive, but that puts me in a very awkward position. I refused. Again, no contact for quite awhile. Christmas she shows up to the family gathering still frosty. At this point I'm exhausted from the roller coaster.
She had told me around Christmastime that she and he were getting closer. I was surprised, as she hadn't been speaking to me and he doesn't. I thought maybe they might become a couple. She certainly spent a lot of time with him. And he needed someone. Maybe they would be a match.
And so, my New Year's Resolution was somewhat introspective. I knew my bff had plans for NYE. We had invited her over and she had said she had an epic weekend planned. Her kids would be with their dad. New Year's Eve Bill and I had invited some friends over. They came down with whatever was going around. We rescheduled for the weekend after, telling them to be selfish and keep that shit to themselves. Bill called his best friend and we saddled up and headed north to his house. We cooked a roast, fixed the kid mini cocktails, and watched the ball drop. Bill's best friend had his daughter and we had our two smaller ones. I couldn't help but think as I was sitting there watching the ball drop, then accepting Bill's New Year's Kiss, that if she really cared for him, she would be spending NYE with him. He was going to sit at home alone with his daughter on NYE.
We were out at his house that night, the next day, and then that night and that next day. We spent almost the whole weekend out there letting the kids play and making snow. Yes, making snow. He had built his own snow machine. The kids played in 18" of the white stuff all weekend. We got great pictures.
Just as we were leaving that afternoon, she showed up. She was telling me all about her weekend and how her liver had disowned her. And that was that. A week or so goes by and then she hits me up on text again. Quite out of the blue, "You don't have to worry about setting up _______ with that girl from your office. We're getting all relationshippy again."I was taken aback. Last summer Bill's bff had asked me to bring some eyecandy on his boat. I had invited a girl from work. Then right before Christmas my coworker's boyfriend up and moved to Florida for a job, leaving her here. Bill's bff told me to make sure she had somewhere to go for Christmas or she could come to our family gathering. I did. She had somewhere to go and that, I thought, was the end of it. This was the girl from my office she was referring to. I told her there had never been any grand plan and I didn't know they were getting relationshippy again. She told me she was there four nights a week. That doesn't make a relationship. That makes a very easy booty call. Anyway, I concluded our conversation and, following Bill's advice, didn't say anything to his best friend. But, I would not lie to him if asked.
Last week Bill's best friend texted me, "SO what's up with that girl at your office?" I took a deep breath and responded, "I was told not to set you up." His response was quick and sad, "I don't remember telling you that. :/" What followed was his confusion as to why women have to force relationships and my advice that he have "that" conversation with her. He said he had, twice. Apparently it hadn't taken. So that brings us back to Friday night, the first time they had seen each other since our conversation, and the first time I had seen her since a few days after New Year's.
Buckle Up, Here We Go
She was nice but not open like I had hoped. Things were incredibly frosty between the two of them. He wasn't happy at all. We partied until midnight and the kids had a grand old time. I was left still confused. I could analyze it six ways to Sunday, as if I haven't already, but I still am just left at this: My New Year's Resolution was to be the kind of friend I wanted to be. This was a long and winding road to get here, but I want to be the type of friend I want to have, so I am not caught unaware with assumptions of true, deep, lasting friendship.
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