I've Done My Job 6/30/2008

1:00AM came WAAAY too early.  Luckily the bags were already packed.  The night before I had helped her pick out the toys she wanted to take for her vacation with Daddy.  She had picked out the ones she wanted to share with him.  She was so excited.  I had been telling her for months that she was going to visit with Daddy this summer.  She usually responded with an enthusiastic, "Yeah!  This summer!" 

In the last few weeks I had been even more insistent, trying to prepare her for that meeting.  They hadn't seen each other in a year and three months.  Sure there had been phone calls every week and webcams, but you never really know how a three year old is going to react, no matter how much communication you've had. 

When we finally got the toys she wanted in her suitcase, her clothes and zipped it up, she put her little blue purse on her shoulder, grabbed at the suitcase that was almost as tall as she was, and started for the door.  "Come on, mom!" she said, "Let's go!"  I laughed and took her in my arms.  I tried to again explain that we had to sleep before we were going to see Daddy because it was a very long drive.  Texas is a long way away.  She was so excited. 

 

We read two books (with the two fingers held up, just to make sure I understood we WERE reading two books that night, not just one) and then hugged and kissed.  It was really nice to get some lovin'.  That morning she had crawled into bed with me full of smiles.  It was a really nice "last morning" for a little while as usually I have to drag her out of bed for school. 

 

When the alarm rang I wanted to curse all that was holy that my ex-husband didn't get a flight into Nashville and then drive to Texas, but it was a little late to change the plan now.  The car was swiftly packed and I put her in the car.  She sleepily asked about daddy.  I told her we were on the way.  She fell back asleep.  We stopped several times, each time pottying and getting "'nack". 

 

"I see my daddy?" was the question of the day when she did finally wake up.  When the sun rose somewhere over Arkansas she very wisely pointed out, "Sun awake!  It no dark no more!"  When we finally got to the meeting place, I stepped aside and let her dad get her out of the car.  She went right to him, so excited.  She jabbered away, so excited to see him.  She loved on him, hugged on him, and he hugged on her.  His dad was with him and she talked to her granddad too. 

 

We had thought it would take a few hours for her to adjust to them but she was out of my vehicle and into theirs in about twenty minutes.  She hugged me tight, kissed me and Bill goodbye, waved the whole way out of the parking lot, and they were gone.  I stood there, watching for a minute and I was completely satisfied.  I have done my job as a mother.  She knows her daddy loves her.  She knows he cares for her.  She knows he will not hurt her.  More than that, they have a relationship.  No matter what happened between he and I, she is what matters now.  He and I have done our jobs.  I can't think of anything more satisfying than that.