A blogger I regularly read posted the following blog today. I thought it bore repeating, along with mine and his comments. The link is included should you want to read the original and all the comments. Enjoy!
THE MOST POWERFUL MEN TO WALK THIS EARTH
by Coqueto
how about a little rant? ***pulls up soapbox***
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The Most Powerful Men To Walk this Earth
You know what I keep running into?
Both men and women who take the idea of a man really loving a woman and saying it's lame or cheesy. Yes, like some of my writing. That's ok, I know my stuff is not for everyone. But I like it, and frankly that's what matters most to me.
But you know, a lot of people call it crap.
In fact, a lot of people would take a guy like me, (and a lot of others) and call them whipped, call them pussies, etc. One lady reader even gave me her condolences for my loss of my testicles, because of my last piece. (here) (don't worry, I checked. They're still there.) But it WAS funny.
and it made me think.
What kind of man out there really has balls?
What kind of man really, really has the stones?
Is it the guy who can bang the most chicks? Is it the guy who can be the biggest prick to everyone? Is it the guy who can bench-press the most? Is it the man who is the most stoic and tough and is the best at acting like nothing bothers him? Is it the man who is too smart to fall for you crazy girls, and bails on relationships before he gets trapped (or is he too dumb to figure out how to handle it?) Is it the man with the most money?
What kind of man is the most bad-ass, powerful man to walk this earth?
I say
The Patriarch.
The family man. The man who loves his kids and will 'man up'. I don't just mean love them, or pay child support. I mean RAISE them. Teach them. This is a man who loves his wife, and fears nothing, including her. This man would fight to the death to protect her, and his family. This man works hard and plans his steps carefully, considering his family. He sets the example for wisdom, and cares deeply about those he loves.
The patriarch will play with his children. He will play with his grandchildren. He teaches his sons how to be lovers too, and teaches his daughters what they should require in a man and how to treat one. He conducts himself with excellence. He takes care of himself, and his family. He is the kind of man people look to for answers, or for help. He can be counted on. Ok, got that picture in your head?
It takes guts to be this man. GREAT courage. Because it may be the hardest of all roads for him to travel. Marriage is hard as hell. Parenting is even harder. And then working hard enough to pay for those? REALLY hard.
I say that the men that fear this, are the real pussies.
Fear?
Running around in and out of beds, bullsh*tting women. Doing just enough to feed their ego and appetite, then they slip out the back.
cowards.
Scoffing at love and notching the bedpost.
So, who is the real man?
The club rat? The patriarch? Who is the lesser man?
Men- if you attach your status or ego to your count of women you bagged, you have bought yourself a lie. If your personal freedom is more important to you than love, you are selfish, and you have bought yourself a lie.
Society is lying to you. And it may be causing you to miss out on something real, and something satisfying. And you are the lesser man.
Ladies, you may have bought a lie too. The big stud is not the guy at the club with the ripped abs who wants your sex. The stud is the bad-ass who is at home with his wife, who is busy loving his family, and handles his business. THAT takes guts. Would you belittle him for being loving? Are you stupidly attracted to players instead? Are you dating potential patriarchs, or club rats? What do you really want? Do you avoid the patriarchs because you can't measure up to them? Fear them? Cannot believe they are real, or consider them fools? Lacking courage yourself?
Playing games is for the little boys. The true men aren't jerking around.
Now, to each their own. You don't have to want marriage, and you don't have to want kids. Fine. Whatever. It's not for everyone either.
But the man with balls of steel, is one who really knows how to love a woman. The one who knows how to let her know she is loved. The man who will take the risk. The man who doesn't fear the hard work that raising a family involves. The man who rises up in life, not the man who slinks away.
Our entire society is crumbling for lack of these men, and also for the lack of respect and admiration these men get from others, both from women and from other guys. These days, they get mocked and used instead.
I am tired of seeing them get disrespected.
The kind of men I look up to cannot be found at the clubs. The men who can bag hot chicks left and right sure don't impress me. It's not that big of a deal.
The kind of men I admire, and that I want to be like, are the ones that do the hardest things of all. The ones who would lay down their life for those they love. The leaders of communities. The wise men.
The true lovers.
The true warriors.
The Patriarchs.
________________________________________
What kind of woman would qualify for such a man?
Better yet, what kind of woman does it take to inspire a man to become it?
What men do you admire most?
© 2008 Samuel Solomon
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
This can be found at:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=290012045&blogid=375537060&page=4
Buttercups commented:
You are absolutely correct. It takes a real man to be a true husband and daddy. Any man can be a father. My exhusband wasn't willing to man up when it mattered and work on our relationship to fix/repair our marriage. While we were in marital counselling he was planning a new life with another woman. That, my friend, is not a patriarch. That is a pussy. Do I believe he went into our marriage that way? Absolutely not. I believe it got hard and he pussed out.
I believe now in not settling. I believe in being in a relationship that demands my absolute best, every day. 100% honesty, 100% communication, absolutely no secrets. Okay, maybe a secret for a few days for the sake of surprise, but that's it. :) I believe in finding a man that loves me as much as I love him. I believe in finding a man that will sacrifice as much for me as I will for him. I believe in findng a man that can't get me out of his mind any more than I can get him out of mine. I believe in finding a man that gets that silly smile on his face a month/6 months/year after we've started dating just like I do. Just like I said to begin with: not settling.
I believe now in not settling. I believe in being in a relationship that demands my absolute best, every day. 100% honesty, 100% communication, absolutely no secrets. Okay, maybe a secret for a few days for the sake of surprise, but that's it. :) I believe in finding a man that loves me as much as I love him. I believe in finding a man that will sacrifice as much for me as I will for him. I believe in findng a man that can't get me out of his mind any more than I can get him out of mine. I believe in finding a man that gets that silly smile on his face a month/6 months/year after we've started dating just like I do. Just like I said to begin with: not settling.
Coqueto Responded:
absolutely no secrets
my question there is
can you handle the whole truth? what if it threatens your faith in him?
what if you can't look at him the same way?
I would rather keep my secrets, and throw them into the ocean of no memory
and have a fresh start today, to just be cool.
I may have to blog this.
Buttercups Responded:
I should correct my statement. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. It IS the most honest relationship I have ever been in. And it does demand my best everyday. I truly believe I haven't settled. With that said...
I may have to blog about this myself. As for the no secrets and absolute honesty, until now I have never been in a relationship that demands my best, 100% honesty, and no secrets. He knows absolutely everything. I know absolutely everything. Somethings were/are harder to tell him than others. Somethings were/are harder to hear than others.
It is because of his absolute honesty, even when he knew it might hurt me, that I have faith in him. It was because of this I was able to become comfortable in telling him everything. I fear no condemnation in being honest with him. He has made it clear I will not ever be "punished" for being honest. It is because we do not hold the past before we met against each other that we are able to not have secrets.
Your past makes you who you are. It shapes you. Throwing things into the ocean of no memory means you can never pull them out to explain a way you react to something when you know it wasn't quite right.
In the future if it does not hold what I think it does and I must move on, I will take these incredibly valuable lessons and relalize that I have learned more in these short 12 months than most people learn in a lifetime.
**Edit**
I just realized that my words probably were unfair to my exhusband and he does read my blog. No matter what happened between us, he is an excellent father. He loves our daughter very much and we are actually pretty good friends now. Whatever happened between us I do not want anything taken away from him in that regard.
absolutely no secrets
my question there is
can you handle the whole truth? what if it threatens your faith in him?
what if you can't look at him the same way?
I would rather keep my secrets, and throw them into the ocean of no memory
and have a fresh start today, to just be cool.
I may have to blog this.
Buttercups Responded:
I should correct my statement. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year. It IS the most honest relationship I have ever been in. And it does demand my best everyday. I truly believe I haven't settled. With that said...
I may have to blog about this myself. As for the no secrets and absolute honesty, until now I have never been in a relationship that demands my best, 100% honesty, and no secrets. He knows absolutely everything. I know absolutely everything. Somethings were/are harder to tell him than others. Somethings were/are harder to hear than others.
It is because of his absolute honesty, even when he knew it might hurt me, that I have faith in him. It was because of this I was able to become comfortable in telling him everything. I fear no condemnation in being honest with him. He has made it clear I will not ever be "punished" for being honest. It is because we do not hold the past before we met against each other that we are able to not have secrets.
Your past makes you who you are. It shapes you. Throwing things into the ocean of no memory means you can never pull them out to explain a way you react to something when you know it wasn't quite right.
In the future if it does not hold what I think it does and I must move on, I will take these incredibly valuable lessons and relalize that I have learned more in these short 12 months than most people learn in a lifetime.
**Edit**
I just realized that my words probably were unfair to my exhusband and he does read my blog. No matter what happened between us, he is an excellent father. He loves our daughter very much and we are actually pretty good friends now. Whatever happened between us I do not want anything taken away from him in that regard.
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