Current mood:
pleasedCategory: Life
Today is my Nana's 83rd birthday. I went down Saturday for the lunch with Bill and our two youngest (one is his and one is mine). He has been working A LOT lately and I hated to loose a whole day with him. My Nana had asked me, respectfully like an adult, not pettily and sneering like the rest of my family, to not bring him to her home as she didn't agree with his divorces, etc. At 83 I gave her a pass and have adhered to her wishes. The plan was for him to drop me off at my aunt and uncle's and then take his son to play in the play place at the mall until lunch was over. I had told my aunt he was with me.
When I got to their house my uncle was sitting in his easy chair writing his sermon for Sunday. He is a COC preacher for a little, mostly older, congregation. He asked where Bill was. I told him he was outside but he was going to follow us to my Nana's apartment so he could know where to come pick me up. My uncle rolled his eyes and said, "We are taking Nana to lunch, Bill is more than welcome to come with us." I thanked him. Then he tacked on, "That doesn't mean we approve of your relationship, in fact we wish you'd reconsider, but it's your life." My aunt chimed in, "Yup, it's your life." And that was that.
My uncle had just finished a huge two story outbuilding for storage and was delighted to show it off. Bill was able to suggest some things he might do, as he's handy like that, and then was able to give them the solution for their loose tile in the kitchen. When we went to eat we all had a good time. My uncle and Bill talked about the election, and while politics are usually discouraged among tense situations, they enjoyed it.
When we were leaving my Nana asked Bill four times if he was going to come see her new apartment and hugged him twice. She remembered how he had helped fix her faucet and something else in her house and liked him. My guess is she forgot she ever asked me not to bring him. I hate that she is getting wrose with her Alzheimer's but sometimes it makes some things easier... He did go with us to see her apartment and the kids played. As we were leaving my aunt said, "Thank you for coming, you're the only one who comes just to help. No one else comes like you do." And while it's true my sisters and cousins have reasons why they can't/won't visit, I told her the truth, "I want to visit while she remembers me and I want C to know her. And it's something that needs to be done." She teared up and thanked me again.
My Nana hugged us all when we left, practically doing a little dance in her new "good" shoes I had brought for her since I knew from work the type of little old lady shoes the podiatrist had recommended. I do need to call her today and ask if she saw her shadow. Today is her actual birthday.
So, things are okay. And I was really pleased that Bill willingly came with me even when he thought he wasn't going to be welcome. It really meant a lot. I was explaining to someone else when I mentioned that and they said he was a saint for going with the flow that he's met my family and he just... gets it.
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