My lil one was in class, traveling with Abram, having a grand time learning. I was glad. It left me free to hear this ultra-conservative church's views on divorce and remarriage. For the record Missy Jane and I are both divorced. One of the first things we heard was the preacher talking about Matthew 5:31, "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[f]But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."
His position was that divorce was not allowed AT ALL except for adultery AND the nonoffending party, who would go on to marry again, would be committing adultery. WHAT??? I don't see that. I am divorced due to martial unfaithfulness. The preacher also said that before divorce for marital unfaithfulness is allowed to occur all avenues of reconciliation must be exhausted. I completely agree. While my ex-husband and I were in martial counseling he was planning a life with another woman. It's pretty hard to work on your marriage when he's already planning another one. When all trust is gone and you're sitting outside the lawyer's office and you ask him if you should really do this or you think you should work on it again and he says, no this is the right thing because he doesn't want to stay, what do you do. The husband is the head of the home. When the home is broken, what do you do? So according to this preacher's interpretation, I have no right to remarry.
Then the conversation turned to abuse. An African-American single, never been married woman spoke up and said that when you take someone "for better or worse" you take them for better or worse. She said to her that means abuse and all. A gentleman in the class then said that you could use the law of the land to protect yourself with restraining orders, etc, and fast and pray, but yes, he agreed, you should stay married. I was flabbergasted. I know no court in the land that will take you seriously if you repeatedly ask for orders of protection but continue to remain married. After so long they will not help you anymore. That's the sad truth about it. It was then that an older man, white hair, probably 80ish, said that he had known of a couple who built two houses on the same property but lived separately to remain married. Aren't we told to come together often to fulfill our marital obligations?
As if he read my mind this same younger gentleman said that when the abuse occurred and the nonoffending party moved out the nonoffending party took away the ability of the offending party to fulfill their marital duties. So the abuser is not at fault now? You are to continue to live under the roof of the abuser, fast and pray, because you have to fulfill your marital duties, but get an order of protection. Yeah, tell the cops that one when the respond and you tell them that s/he was in the bathroom the same time you were and the judge said s/he couldn't do that.
Then we move onto Matthew 19 which address that anyone sins who puts asunder what God joins together. I agree there as well. However, what I disagree with is what came next. The conversation turned to sins which are unforgivable. The preacher said that he has seen people who are in 2nd marriages, or marriages that were spawned from less than ideal circumstances and then this person becomes a Christian that person is not forgiven. WHOA… I thought Jesus blood covered ALL sins. Not just some sins… Isn't that limiting God? In fact, the preacher said that this person should divorce and live alone.
This preacher completely ignored I Corinthians 7:9 which says it is better to marry than to burn with passion. No one brought it up. Missy Jane and I were not about to. We just wanted to respectfully get out of there ASAP. The preacher in closing then said it was important that we remember it is the attitude of the heart. I almost snorted. This church is not interested in the heart. They are interested in following the verses they want. At no time did they read in context, they picked out the verses that supported their views and looked at nothing else.
We couldn't wait to get out of there. Missy Jane looked at me as we left and said that I should have told them she was my lesbian lover. LOL! I was sorely tempted. I have never heard so much closed mindedness and bitterness in so few people. There were a total of twenty-five people there. It was pretty obvious they aren't going out into the mission fields. They were letting the fields come to them. And by our experience last night, this part of the field will not be back.
That night Missy Jane thanked me for going to hell with her. I hugged her and told her I'd go to hell with her anytime. And I meant it.
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