Current mood:
blessedCategory: Life
This weekend was a lesson in "what's wrong with dad". I kinda enjoyed it actually, or I would have if I hadn't been so disgusted. But first, let's cover Friday. Friday evening Bill and I were sitting around relaxing. I was studying and C was watching a movie on the big screen. She had earned a prize this week for her good behavior and for going to circle time. She chose the little Thumbelina doll she had seen on TV for over a month and waited to earn it. I was so proud. So we're sitting around, enjoying our Friday and a girlfriend of mine called to chat. She had her kids at home and they were running wild. It was hard to talk on the phone. I told her she should pick up a bottle of wine and we could talk in person in an hour. She laughed and said, "Oh, if only…" That's when Bill looked at me with a "why not?" look and we packed up the Jeep and headed out. It was so fun! We sat up talking and carrying on until WAY too late, the kids wore themselves out early and all piled in the floor on blankets to watch a movie. It was so nice to have adult time, even if the kids were there. And being spontaneous was refreshing. I told him it was fun and he said, "Yeah, we don't get to do that much anymore with the kids around." Change of pace is nice.....
Saturday dawned beautiful, if a little chilly, and we headed down south to see my Nana. On the way down I answered her third phone call. She was worried we weren't coming because she couldn't remember that she'd already called. She was also worried, thinking my uncle hadn't eaten breakfast and we were making them late. I assured her everyone was fine and we met her at the restaurant with my aunt and cousin. I hadn't seen my cousin in months and she had driven in from Memphis. We usually miss each other on opposite weekends. As we were sitting around talking the conversation turned to my dad and the "bless his hearts" started. That's when I knew I was going to hear more information about him and his interactions down here. I already know they aren't much and he doesn't come down like he should. Yes, he was recently laid off so money is tight, but he tries to control things from 73 miles away and that simply doesn't work when my aunt is there day in and day out. My aunt said she loved her brother but he had issues. Well, I knew that. What was REALLY funny was my 83 year old grandmother muttered under her breath beside me, "Yeah, he has psychic problems." Bill and I pretty much figured out she meant psychological, but I love how older people just say what they think.
Through it all my family and Bill really enjoyed each other. He is growing on them. No, they don't agree with some of my choices, but they at least realize I am an adult and they're respecting that. Of all the things for Nana to rib Bill about, she asked him why he kept his hair so short. Usually older women prefer shorter hair. I don't know why she teased him about that though. He and I thought if anything she would tease him about his day old stubble. Nope, she liked that. It's funny what people notice I guess.
We finished up lunch and sent my aunt and cousin on their way for a break. When we had gotten there my aunt had that, "Oh thank God please take her" look. She was exhausted. Through it all Bill was gentle and patient. At first we were going to take Nana to WalMart for her to get some things. "Ok," he said. Then she decided she wanted to go by her house. "That's ok too. We'll do whatever we need to do." Nana had a fun time trying to figure out the windows in the Jeep. The controls for the windows are in the middle. Nana kept locking and unlocking the car as those controls are on the door.
We took Nana by her house to check on things. She is like a child, only bigger. You have to walk next to her to make sure she doesn't trip and fall. You have to watch her or she'll unplug the refrigerator, forgetting there are still things in there. Bill sat outside letting C run around and pick flowers while I went in with her. I was surrounded by things from my childhood she hardly remembers. She knows she has a lot of knick-knacks and doodaddles but can't remember why. My grandfather towards the end of his life collected all kinds of figurines and little children's' toys. She still has them.
My aunt had told me I could take something home if I saw something that meant a lot to me. Well, everything except the large picture that hangs behind her couch. Apparently everyone has eyes on that. I don't think it's very valuable; it's just a beautiful painting. I was okay with that. It doesn't really match our décor. I didn't really intend to bring anything home, but when I went into the study with Nana I was distracted by some of my grandfather's books on the shelf. He was a preacher for several decades and always worked hard on his sermons. However, he was orphaned growing up and didn't graduate high school. I think he had an 8th grade education. He did take some classes at Freed-Hardeman University later in life in Bible. What really endears me to my grandfather is the fact that he wasn't like a lot of religious conservatives I know. Yes, he was a churchof Christ preacher, but because of his life there were things he just… understood… that many wouldn't. His take on things was usually not in the "party line" but that was part of how he was. My cousin told me last year that she hates it when someone in our family asks us, "Well, what do you think Gangan would say?" She hates it because she's not so sure he'd say what they're saying he would. His opinions were different. He didn't live in a bubble of Christianity. He understood the world outside as well. One of his books on the shelf, sitting beside four biblical concordances and seven tattered, worn, duct-taped together (no, I'm not kidding) Bibles was a 1950s College Business English book. I picked it up and began flipping through it. I realized here I am, about to graduate college and begin my Master's and some of that is because of him. He taught me no matter what your circumstances you can overcome. He was an eloquent speaker but could get a point across to anyone without frills. To me, he really embodied the old saying that someone would rather see a sermon on Monday than hear it on Sunday. He was always trying to better himself. I did take that book home. I'll set it on my desk to remind me of his legacy of hard work and dedication and love of others.
When we were leaving I put all of Nana's things to take to her apartment in the back. One of the things she had given to me was her back brace. On the way to her apartment she asked about it. I mentioned that she'd given it to me and before I could finish my sentence she said, "Oh no I Di-n't!" LMAO! She's getting feisty in her old age! When we walked in the girl that works the front desk not only remembered Bill, C, and I, but asked where the "little boy" (K) was. We were very impressed. She had laid out the daily activity sheets for me to see on her coffee table. Tai Chi for Seniors was listed. She said she probably should check it out, but she can't even pronounce it. J On another sheet there was exercising with John. I asked her if she attends that. She said, "Why no! All he's doing is movements like the hokey-pokey and I can do that in my own room!" LOL! We visited there for awhile until she decided she wanted an ice cream cone at the Dairy Queen down the block. We went to grab an early dinner and she and Bill got to talking. They talked about what he does, taxes, and then about Nashville. She lived there during her working years. It was neat to see her light up about something she knew. We took her back and dropped her off. She hugged and kissed me and said she'd see me next time. As I was walking back out to the Jeep I had to giggle. The bus that they take the residents in places? It's bright yellow, like a short bus.
On the way out we dropped by my aunt's. They had been napping all day. I was so glad that she got some rest. My aunt told me she was all for selling Nana's house, because at this point there's no way she can live alone again, but my father doesn't want to. His reason? He might get a job down there. I told her if that was his reason then he should pay the mortgage. She said, "Yeah, and mow the grass!" I was so disgusted. But all I can do is all I can do and I can't control him or his actions. We visited with my uncle who I hadn't see yet that day and he and Bill walked off, talking politics. When we finally pulled away it was to a chorus of "We love yous!" and "Be carefuls!" It saddened me to think I felt more loved from them than my own parents, but that's just how things are.
One the way out it was Memphis all over again. We couldn't find coffee. We finally did, but had to stop at three places first. We just shook our head at our misfortune. We talked as we drove, enjoying the conversation. When we got close to my hometown I mentioned I should mail my little sister the photo I picked up for her at Nana's. It was a special photo from Grandparent's Day when she was in elementary school. He made the point that we could just drop it off. That really tickled me. And I think he understands she is not happy at home and wants to cheer her up. We met her after work and visited for a few minutes. I was SO GLAD to see her. I miss her so much. She was happy to see us, but C moreso. She's the gold medal, we're just the silver.
The next day I worked on my thesis and other school work all day while Bill went down to the range with his former BIL to try out the new gun. C and I had a pretty good day, we even played Sorry. That night when we were getting ready for bed I heard him start to sing from the kitchen, "Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? If you do, tell her I love her." I smiled. I love it when he sings to me. The whole weekend was an exercise in him endearing himself to me more deeply (if that's possible) than he already is. He willingly and gladly visits my family, is patient and kind with my Nana and my child, and truly makes me feel loved. He really makes my life complete. **Sigh**
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