Boy, that's a four letter word if I ever heard one. I was married once. I was young and full of hope and desires. I. Wanted. To. Be. His. Wife. We had a whirlwind courtship of about a year with a seven month deployment to Afghanistan in there. Marriage is hard. Next to motherhood marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done. Things weren't perfect. Things that were a problem before the marriage were a problem after the marriage. Stupidly I assumed we would be different. It was hard. We were happy, for a time. Then the newness wore off and real life came into full view. Things weren't perfect and I don't deny that. I'm not the easiest person to live with. Of course, he's probably not either.
The past few days I've been watching those reality wedding shows. What strikes me more than anything is these people have NO idea what they're doing. Do they love each other? Sure they do. When I watch a show or go to a wedding now I don't see a young couple full of promise. I see months or years of work invested in this one day. Monstorus amounts of money and resources are poured into this one day. Half or more of marriages end in divorce. I can't help but think if they poured as much time and attention into their relationship as they had their wedding maybe they wouldn't.
My family hates that Bill and I aren't married. None of them have ever been divorced. They don't understand that vows can be broken, many times with very little effort. They don't understand the sentiment that "I don't hate him enough to marry him." Don't get me wrong, I think marriage can be a wonderful thing. I think of it sort of like I think of Mule Day in my hometown. Its a cultural experience everyone should have once and if you go again, then its your own damn fault.
Will Bill and I ever get married? I don't know. Right now I don't really care. I can say this: that my relationship with Bill hasn't always been easy either. However, we work on it. And I'd have to say I work harder now and give him more consideration than I did my exhusband. As you get older and grow you learn things. You learn how to cope better and react less severely. My older sister doesn't get why I don't just GET MARRIED. Why wouldn't I want to? Bill stays because he wants to. He stays because his desire is to be by my side. Its simply not a priority right now. Guess I just don't get the phenomenon...
The past few days I've been watching those reality wedding shows. What strikes me more than anything is these people have NO idea what they're doing. Do they love each other? Sure they do. When I watch a show or go to a wedding now I don't see a young couple full of promise. I see months or years of work invested in this one day. Monstorus amounts of money and resources are poured into this one day. Half or more of marriages end in divorce. I can't help but think if they poured as much time and attention into their relationship as they had their wedding maybe they wouldn't.
My family hates that Bill and I aren't married. None of them have ever been divorced. They don't understand that vows can be broken, many times with very little effort. They don't understand the sentiment that "I don't hate him enough to marry him." Don't get me wrong, I think marriage can be a wonderful thing. I think of it sort of like I think of Mule Day in my hometown. Its a cultural experience everyone should have once and if you go again, then its your own damn fault.
Will Bill and I ever get married? I don't know. Right now I don't really care. I can say this: that my relationship with Bill hasn't always been easy either. However, we work on it. And I'd have to say I work harder now and give him more consideration than I did my exhusband. As you get older and grow you learn things. You learn how to cope better and react less severely. My older sister doesn't get why I don't just GET MARRIED. Why wouldn't I want to? Bill stays because he wants to. He stays because his desire is to be by my side. Its simply not a priority right now. Guess I just don't get the phenomenon...
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