Hot, hard, and fast - Adult Content

It was a hot summer day in middle Tennessee. The sun was high in the sky. The heat index was through the roof. He had come to follow her home to just spend time with her. They could watch the grass grow, he didn't care. As long as he could touch her, smell her scent, and be lucky enough to maybe kiss her sweet lips. He was a working man, and appropriately filthy from his endeavors. As she walked across the parking lot to meet him both heart rates increased. He was leaning against his truck, sweat beading his brow. His light hair was a sharp contrast to his very tan skin. His t-shirt tucked into work jeans were both smudged with dirt and grime. His work boots were so filthy she wondered if they had ever originally been one solid color. She loved that about him. He leaned with his arms crossed over his chest, strong hands holding his biceps, the picture of relaxation and anticipation. His eyes caught her and he simply watched her walk to him. She was in professional dress, a suit and heels. He sunglasses hid her look of pleasure at walking towards him. He watched her. Her dark hair fell thick and shiny over her forehead and across her shoulders. She walked with a grace that belied how clumsy he knew she was. Her breasts rose and fell with each breath, the heat making it that much harder to breathe. Her calves were beautiful, leading down to her heels that made the entire look worth a second glance.



She walked up to him, taking him in. Without thinking, she reached up and kissed him. She didn't care who saw her. She was in love, although she hadn't quite acknowledged it yet. He walked her to her car, seated her in, and leaned in to kiss her again. She wasn't wearing panties. He found out when he slid his work roughened hand up her thigh under her silky skirt. He groaned in appreciation and frustration. There was no way he could enjoy her like he'd like here, in this parking lot, in front of her office, where he was almost positive someone was watching them. He quickly kissed her once more and went to his own vehicle to follow her. Traffic was awful, they got stuck for almost an hour. To liven up the drive home she took full advantage of his pulling up beside her. She slid her car into park, slid her skirt up to her hips, and he almost climbed out of his truck window. As her fingers glided over hear breasts, down the curve of her stomach, and to her thighs, he thought he would explode. When she dipped her fingers inside her depths, then brought them to her lips to taste, he damn near did. Mercifully traffic began moving and he was fast on her trail.



They arrived at her home and she immediately went to change out of her suit. She re-emerged in a little white tennis skirt and a tank top. As if she didn't have his attention already, she certainly did now. They ran some errands and were both so spun up she found a little corner of her neighborhood she used to use and they parked the car and were immediately upon each other. Arms tangled, mouths meshed, hands ran over hot skin, desperately seeking fulfillment they knew wouldn't find. Finally she pulled away, steadied her breathing, and started the car. Never had she ever felt magnetism like this. This attraction defied anything she'd ever thought was possible. He was her drug, and she was addicted.



The time finally came for him to go. He wasn't happy about it, but neither was she. She walked him outside and he grabbed her for a goodbye kiss. The pent up frustration from the afternoon exploded. He was leaning against the truck, the door open, her arms entwined around his neck. She ran her hands down his strong chest, reveling in the feel of the muscles rippling under her touch. She couldn't take it anymore. She reached down and jerked his belt loose from the fastenings. She reached in and took his shaft in her hand. He was hot and silky smooth. She groaned against his mouth. She had to have him. NOW. She reached her hands in the truck. She wrapped one hand around the steering wheel. She slid him into her as she reached up and grabbed the head rest of the drivers seat. Their lips were locked together, with her feet supporting herself on the rails of the truck. Harder and faster they moved until he couldn't hold back anymore. He exploded inside her and she clenched around him, finally feeling her own release. She held on just a few more minutes, savoring the fall back to earth. She stood back up, kissed him once more, and left him in the driveway dazed. Until next time that would have to hold them.

Whew

I feel like I should be sad. My baby started kindergarten today. I'm not. I'm extremely proud of how far we've come and how well she did. I didn't shed one tear. I did swell with pride as I watched her dress herself and help me pack her lunch. And then when we got her settled and walked out of the room? She never even looked up. I am so very proud of the job I've done. It's milestones like this and how we handle them that makes me realize we've come a long way baby. I finished college, earned my degree. I persevered through long semesters, expensive childcare, and a crappy job. I persevered through a divorce. I found love again. And somewhere along the way I've managed to mold my child into an acceptable, well behaved, adorable kid. So tonight, I raise a glass to us.

I ran across this blog as well from way back then. Back when we were still testing the waters, getting to know each other, trying to ensure this was what we wanted. I love looking back and seeing how far we've come.

Sent: Friday, August 17, 2007 11:54:12 AM
Shedaisee wrote:

Didn't want this online for view. It's attached.

Last night we talked a lot. Talked about a lot of things. He took care of the things he needed to to "cut ties" and if she calls again he promised to make it clear that she is not to call again. I, in turn, am about to email and tell him we are not going to be able to have any kind of relationship at all. That is for the best. He continues to "learn" me in the art of relationships. I got very mad last night, lashed out and said things that hurt him. I immediately apologized but he had been hurt. I was hurt too though. I, again, thought he was leaving. Things were getting tough. I've learned through experience that things get tough and someone leaves. Yes, my parents have been married over 35 years, but every 7 years or so my mom threatens to file for divorce and is serious about it. My marriage, my past relationships, all of those have taught me that "lasting relationships" are things that don't exist. It boggles my mind that they do. Or maybe I am subconsciously trying to run him off so it won't hurt as much when I think he really does leave? I thought about that last night and realized that I CANNOT do that. He is the best thing that's ever happened to my life, time line be damned, I have to hold onto him as a treasure to be lost, and must treat him as such, just as he treats me that way.
On a somewhat comical note, we did talk about our past marriages and honeymoons. Interesting stuff, really. I fell asleep in his arms, I woke up in his arms, and then he made sweet love to me. He asked me if I loved him. I told him yes. He said, "Then believe me." I do. It's as simple as that.

From: Girlfriend
To: Shedaisee; Other Girlfriend
Subject: Re: Input?... Updated

"He is the best thing that's ever happened to my life, time line be damned, I have to hold onto him as a treasure to be lost, and must treat him as such, just as he treats me that way."

**SOBS**

Believe him.

I thought you would want to know

Ran across this from August of 2007. He wrote it back when we were both blogging on another site. Enjoy.

From: Intri
To: Shedaisee
Sent: Wednesday, August 8, 2007 7:59:18 PM
Subject: thought you would wanna know I wrote this.

I slipped quietly into her bed, gently slid between the sheets and drew myself close to her body. Snuggling and spooning her as I so love. I adore the feeling of our bodies pressed together and I know she does as well. I could feel her stirring. My arms wrapped around her waist and her hands slid to mine. She pushed herself back to me pressing firmly, her desire to become closer. Her head tilted sideways and I took the opportunity to press my lips to her neck, then along her shoulders and she was responding. My mouth traced across her arms kissing, nibbling, stopping at the wrists relishing in the taste of her skin.

My Fingers delighted in the feel of her underneath them. They traveled delicately around her waist, slipping to her stomach. She rolled back to me our lips met very tenderly. Tongues licked across lips, artistically they formed and the bond was sealed. Attuned to each others needs a familiarity of each others bodies created a passion to feed the cravings of b oth.

The quiet in the house and the rising heartbeats created a rythmic pulse you could HEAR. Perfect synchronicity was mathced as flesh began to form a coupling where each moment brought rippling sensations of pleasure and desire was finally afforded it's peace as I slid inside her depths. Arms close around another firmly, her back arches, I press myself closer still. Movements are measured and paced so as to feel each and every pulse, every place touched accentuated by the sweetness of the moment.

We continue for an unknown time content in just being in this moment. The orgasmic release not even cared for, for the journey IS the destination

I hate you. Happy Father's Day

I hate you. I just feel like telling you. I hate how you make me feel guilty for all the things that aren't really wrong or incorrect. I hate how I let you make me feel inadequate and unworthy because you always have. I hate that you have that power over me. I hate how you were always concerned about the minute details of life and not enjoying life with your girls. I hate how you made my mom write us a letter apologizing for undermining your authority when you weren't ever there to be a real father. I hate how you were a workaholic. I hate how you weren't there for most of the important things in my life. And when you were you cut out early or made me feel guilty that you had to be there. I hate you for waking me up in the middle of the night to fill up the ice trays. I hate you for waking me up in the middle of the night to straighten my wet washcloth so it would dry evenly. I hate how you would passive aggressively throw things away rather because I was a kid and I didn't realize your huffing and puffing equaled you were angry that things were left out those few hours you were home to notice them. I hate you for making me afraid to try to do simple things on my own in front of men because it was never right. I hate you for making me afraid to figure simple things out on my own like how to sweep efficiently, or hammer, or shovel because you were always there behind me telling me I wasn't doing it right and this was the correct way. I hate you for making me this way so that Intri gets frustrated with me when we work together. We are a great team but you're always there in the background, telling me I'm not good enough and I'm not doing it right. Hell, I hate the fact that you think you're superior and right all the damn time. I hate that you're not open to any opinion but yours because you KNOW you're right. I hate that you shoved church and God down my throat so that I feel guilty for EVERY teeny tiny thing I do. I hate that I was never good enough. I hate that I was never pure enough. I hate that I never fit your mold of a "perfect daughter" even though I exhausted myself trying to. Exhausted myself so much that I was on antidepressants at sixteen. I hate that you wouldn't let the doctor put me on birth control when I was young because of my painful periods. I hate that I had to suffer eleven years before I could talk to a doctor about my issues and get REAL medical help. I hate you for damaging my fertility by ignoring the medical treatment I so desperately needed. I hate you for instilling in me a desire to work all the time and a guilt for playing anytime. You said it yourself, mom and you did a REAL good job of teaching us to work, but a shitty job of teaching us to play. How about no job at all? Yes, I'm angry. Yes, I'm bitter. I come by that honestly enough. I hate that you feel you're well within your rights to continue to try to raise me and my daughter. I'm 27 years old. You had your chance. It's too late now. I hate you for making me think I'm not worthy because I don't fit your ideal. Here's a newsflash: I never did. I never fit in. I was your odd duckling. And instead of recognizing and nurturing that in me, you shunned it. You insisted I conform. You made me feel like I wasn't worth living at all because I never was what you wanted me to be. Straight As I worked my ass off for got a "that's nice". Working my ass off at everything I did was never enough. "There's always work to do. I don't ever want to see you standing around with your hands in your pockets." To this day I can't rest with my hands in my pockets. I hate you for thinking you were right to push my mom down in front of me and my baby sister. I hate you for thinking you were right to kick my baby sister out of your way during an argument with mom. I hate you for being an overbearing, always right, never wrong, emotionally abusive individual who spent more time with other people's children at school than you ever did at home.



That's enough negativity for today. I have two beautiful little children that are playing the rainy day away upstairs, a home that needs to be cleaned, and a wonderful spousal unit on his way home to me. Then we'll spend a day working together, as equals, doing whatever it is we want to do TOGETHER EQUALLY. We'll feed from each others strengths and off set each others weaknesses, and when we lay down tonight in the same bed, happy? We'll still love each other as much as the first time we said it to each other. My life is not your life. It is not your choices. It is my life and my choices. And if you can't meet me halfway and still enjoy a relationship with me, that's your problem. I hate it for you.



You made me the woman I am today. You made me strong. You made me resilient. You made me unapologetic. You made me a survivor. I hope you're gratified. Happy Father's Day.

Wedding Weekend

So a second cousin of mine got married yesterday. We've known the wedding was coming for a few months. It was kid weekend. I RSVP'd for six with a note that said if six was a problem to please let me know. No one ever called. So we planned on going. The girls brought dresses down. K's mom sent him nice khakis and I made sure Intri had something nice that was also clean.



My cousin and her baby came to visit Friday. We had a great time catching up, talking, and generally enjoying ourselves. I was so pleased she liked us enough to make the trip. She had planned on going to the wedding but was uneasy about traveling back at night with the baby, so when we left for the wedding, she left for home. All the kids loved meeting the baby and playing with him though!





The ceremony was beautiful. We were a few minutes late but that's nothing new with my family. We snuck in the back, taking up almost an entire row. CL told me she cried a little, it was so sweet. The minister told the story of when the groom realized he was going to marry the bride. She asked him when deer season ended and he told her in another week. Her response? Well, you'd better go all you can then. His brother from another mother reportedly told him if the groom didn't marry her, he would.



When the ceremony ended we waited for my dad, aunt, uncle, and Nana. They were all excited to see all of us. I was shocked. My Nana hugged the girls and said she felt she knew them she'd heard so much about them. All of my family, cousins, uncles, aunts, and others I hadn't seen in years openly accepted us as a family unit. There were a few, "Are you going to get married?"s but overall it was just very nice. It meant so much to me when the bride's mother, my great-aunt (although she's my dad's age) came up to me and asked if our table was alright since the other family sitting with us had two little children. She had thought we would get along well. I thanked her for making us welcome. I told her I had meant it when I said to just let me know if six was too many. She said the bride was adamant it be family friendly and that our family seemed to be quite at home here. I love her so much. Always have. She has an understanding of my family as an outsider since she married into it. She's always been dear to me. Another cousin of mine took lots of photos for me, including a family shot. I am waiting on her to email those.



At the reception the they had notebooks at each table for guests to write messages in. Wouldn't you know, K, being the sweet boy he is, wrote a note with a little spelling help from Intri. It included the very long hard word congratulations. :)



The girls got bored waiting for the bride and groom and did what teenage girls do:

CL

JA

My dad became a jungle gym but never complained when K joined C in climbing on him. He played with them both equally the entire time. I was REALLY impressed.


My 84 year old sweet Nana sat and watched it all. C gave her a sticker that said "love" that had been on the table. She wore it the entire time. She just basked in being around her family.



As I stood in line to get the kids plates my little sister surprised us and came in. She had had to work but came over afterward. I was so happy to see her. She looked just beautiful. She had eaten pizza the night before, so apparently missing her gallbladder hasn't slowed her down. My cousin took some photos of us but I haven't received them yet. Intri had escorted her in on his arm. He texted me and said, "Watch your dad have a heart attack. About to escort your sister in." :) Poor Intri was sick as a dog. He woke up feeling achy and congested. He finally figured out he had chipped a wisdom tooth and it's probably infected. Trooper that he is, he went anyway. He quipped to K that even being sick he and K were going to be the best looking men there. I think he was right.



After I had gotten the kids plates I was walking back across the floor when Intri grabbed me and sweetly danced with me. I had two BBQ plates in my hands but just danced with him. I got lost for a few seconds until I heard one of the kids say, "Where's the bathroom?" I mumbled against his lips, "I have no idea..." until I was jolted out of my reverie and realized they really did need to know where it was. ;) And let me say, COC wedding + dj & dance floor = wow. I had a blast. Not sure everyone agreed with it but I thought it was well done. I did have my sister take a family shot with my cell until I get those other photos from my cousin. I think this is the first family photo we've had with both little ones, the two girls, and us, especially all dressed up.



We took our leave and headed for home where the little ones promptly crashed.





It was a wonderful afternoon with family I'd forgotten love me no matter what. I was very anxious about going but I'm so glad we did. More than one person told me I looked just like my mother and was beautiful just like her. Multiple people told me I looked radiantly happy. I am. This is the life I never knew to wish for. Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must've done something good... (Song line credit: The Sound of Music).

You're beautiful, just like your mother.

Today I took a few hours off of work to attend my little sister's Honor's Day at my alma mater. She is graduating next week with her honor's high school diploma. She has had health problems all through high school and the fact that she is graduating at all should be impressive. She is going to my college alma mater on a Presidential Scholarship she earned through academic achievement and competition among others in her class. To say I am very proud is an understatement.



With my mother in Georgia with my older sister who just had her fourth baby, it was left to my father to be the family support today. She asked me to come, and I was more than happy to oblige. I was proud to be there. She is going to school on an honor's scholarship, works a part time job, and just had her gallbladder removed. She's my hero. And as I sat in the audience and watched her accept her awards I was acutely aware of the role I had had to play in her development. I was a source of strength and love for her, a refuge from the home we both grew up in. I was grateful she allowed me to be there for her.



Sadly, I had to leave before the ceremony was over to get back to work on time. I felt alright, I had seen the important parts (her part). As I walked back up the aisle a teacher stepped into my path. I did not recognize him but thought maybe I had had him in school. He stuck out his hand to greet me and said, "You're beautiful, just like your mother." I was taken aback, appreciative but taken aback. Then he introduced himself, he was an old friend of my parents. He had known me since I was three. I thanked him and walked on out with a spring in my step.



The school was the same. Had the same smell, same paint, albeit a new coat, the teachers hadn't changed. Most were a little older, but then again so was I. The students hadn't changed. The faces had, but the stereotypes had stayed the same.

Case in point:

Six Years Isn't Long Between Friends

This weekend I am relaxed and rejuvenated. About six months ago I reconnected with two ladies I had been great friends with when I was first married. Back then we all lived in the same 1950s hotel turned apartment building in a military/college town in northern middle Tennessee. It was 2002. I was newly married. My parents had lived in this same town when my older sister was a baby. They had been great friends with a family at church who had a daughter a few years older than I. She and I met at church and we hit it off instantly. I lived close to campus, she lived out in the country. When my ex husband deployed to Iraq she stayed with me quite a bit to be closer to campus and to give me some company. She was as genuine and radiant as any iris I'd ever seen. And so was she named such. Then the other lady moved into our building. She was open and caring and shone with creativity and life, like a day lily. She was Lindsey and she quickly became a part of Iris' and my circle.



The year we spent together wasn't always easy. We were women in our twenties. There was jealousy on some levels, resentment on others, and genuine twenties slacking off. But through it all we remained close. Lindsey's husband and mine were deployed with different units. Iris simply was a giver and caretaker and we desperately needed that. We spent a year of being each other's family, for good or for ill. Our husbands returned from war. Iris met her future husband, and my ex got orders to Colorado. I had lived in Tennessee my entire life, we got orders to Colorado and then the very next day I found out I was expecting our daughter. The girls, not to mention my mother, were not exactly happy we were leaving. However, when you're in the Army home is where the Army sends you. We went.



Colorado was a dark, lonely time for me. I was pregnant and having complications. Iris was getting married and I couldn't be there. Lindsey went through issues of her own with her now defunct marriage and we all lost touch. I had my daughter, Iris married and had her daughter, just a few months apart. Lindsey did her own thing, she's always been that way. I lost touch with her completely.



When I moved home from Colorado after my divorce I found Iris on a social media site. We were able to reconnect and at least talk about our lives. Last fall I was surfing around on the same social media site and ran across a lady with the same name as Lindsey. Her profile picture was a picture of a cat, it looked like the same cat she had had when I knew her. I couldn't let it pass by. I emailed the lady, said I hoped she didn't think I was crazy, and wondered. A few days later Lindsey responded. It was her and she lived two miles from my front door. You could have bowled me over with a feather. We decided to meet for lunch one day and did so. It was like we had never been apart. We then decided to try to get a reunion together.



Shortly thereafter friends of ours had a baby very early. They needed a breast pump. Knowing Iris had two children (her son was born two and a half years ago) I sent her a message, asked if she had one. She did. We ran up to her home and pick it up. It, too, was like we had never been apart. Her parents, always good to me and my family, were warm and gracious, entreating us to stay longer and come back if we could.



This spring Iris began singing with the Nashville Symphony Chorus. She has the voice of an angel, always has. We began meeting one Monday a month near her practice facility for dinner and drinks. It has been fabulous to reconnect. During one of these dinners we decided we all needed to get together for an old fashioned sleepover. With Intri in Arizona until Saturday and my house empty and too quiet, the thought of a long Friday night alone rattling around my house didn't appeal to me very much. So I packed up all my scrapbooks that they wanted to see, my daughter, and myself and headed north. I picked up Lindsey on the way. We were off!



Lindsey had never met my daughter so she was excited to meet her as well. On the way we called Iris to decide on a place to eat. Miraculously we managed to make a decision in less than five minutes, something that would have taken us an hour six years before. I remarked we must have grown up a lot. We arrived in the middle of Friday night soldiers and their families induced traffic. Some things never change. When we met Iris and her husband at the restaurant it was hugs and love all around. We immediately fell back into our old patterns of random conversations strung together by "oh yeah, remember this"s. We are genuinely happy for each other and the things we've accomplished and the places we've grown into. Iris is always quick with a compliment, never insincere. We talked about how Lindsey was always pretty, Iris' new haircut suits her personality, and they both said I always looked like a rock star. I gotta hang out with them more often. They make me feel wonderful about myself.



My daughter was shy at first but warmed up quickly and was soon hopping to the bathroom with Iris. Our conversations had changed. We now talked about Miralax, GasX, and Prevacid instead of what club we were going to visit and what outfit we were going to wear. But the friendship and love for each other had not changed one bit. We're older, maybe a little wiser, more settled and not young as we used to be. There's no jealousy that was sometimes evident in our early twenties, no resentment for something the other has. Just friendship and love.



2 pitchers of Sangria later we headed for their home. We arrived and settled in. They looked at my scrapbooks, Iris went through some clothes I had brought her, and we just gabbed and had a big ole time. While looking through a scrapbook I had completed of the year my ex husband was deployed and all the things I had done, mostly with these women, Iris broke down into tears, touched that I had thought enough about the two of them to do a book with them in it.



Iris' son crashed out early, as did her husband, but we were up late into the night. My daughter, also, was up late, playing with "new" (i.e. not hers) toys. We finally called it around 1:30. I awoke the next morning early. I laughed at myself and how adult I have become. I stumbled downstairs to find coffee and then ran in and jumped on Iris' bed. We girl talked for quite awhile about our lives, our spouses, our families, everything.



We woke up Lindsey, had breakfast, then stepped outside into the beautiful, private Kentucky farmland. Our children played together. We played with them and talked some more. It finally became evident it was time to go. As I went in to take a shower I told Iris not to cry yet, I wasn't leaving yet. She asked, "How did you know? I hadn't teared up?" Friends know. She does this thing with her mouth, sets it determinedly that she won't cry.



After I showered I put my new dress on. A column maxi dress I was going to wear to pick up Intri from the airport. It was very pretty was way too long. Being the busy, skip-over-the-minor-details-in-life person that I am I was just going to pick it up and go on. Or hem it with bobby pins. Iris, knowing me and knowing this, told me to hand the dress over. "You look like a Grecian goddess. But I need ot hem it." Fifteen minutes later I had a perfectly hemmed dress. That is something I never would have done for myself. Lindsey took photos of all the children with her very nice camera, again something I never would have done for myself. We make a very good balance, the three of us. If we ever got together in a concentrated effort I don't think there's anything we couldn't accomplish.



On the way out of town Iris' dad took us to eat BBQ. It was beautiful outside and the kids played a little there too. As we prepared to leave we all decided we had to do this again SOON. And her father encouraged me to bring Intri and the other children. Some things never change. Some friendships will never die. Times change, people change, but the platonic love of women friends is forever.

Nashville Mother's Day Flood Project

My five year old daughter was watching the news with me one morning last week. The reporter interviewed a high school age girl who was helping with the clean up efforts. She said, "You don't have to know how to do dry wall to help. If you can use paper towels and rubber gloves, you can help." My tender hearted five year old turns, looks at me and asks, "Mommy, when do we get to go help?" My answer was as soon as I figure out something safe for you to do. And so, a friend of an old coworker of mine came up with the idea to make cookies and cards to distribute to the mom's affected by the Nashville floods.

I thought this was a fantastic idea. A friend of mine and her two children came over Friday night. That 4, 5, and 6 year old worked for hours making three dozen cards and helping us make nine dozen cookies for goodie bags for the moms. We kept telling them they were going to make mommies very happy. They were proud.