Two nights ago I realized I hadn't been feeling very sexy or pretty AT ALL lately. What did I do? I reached into my lingerie drawer and pulled out some brand spankin' new Rampage babydoll gown I hadn't even taken the tags off yet. After my shower I put it on, I put on my cutsey black lacy underpants, and did my hair. I grabbed a glass of red wine from my favorite winery (Beachaven) and propped my feet up. I sat. I contemplated why I was feeling so blah. I entertained and discarded several reasons. I'm not sure I ever really got any answers, other than I was just feeling blah. It's January and the weather sucks. I sat in my chair, my fingers running around the rim of my wine glass, and I just... sat. A girlfriend texted me asking what I was doing. I told her. She asked where Bill was. I told her. He was watching the West Wing and eating a snack. After I sent that message I realize how absurd that must seem. I'm in lingerie and he's watching TV. LOL! But I wasn't really in the socializing mood either.
Last night I had come home, cooked dinner, put my lil one to bed, and was just hangin' out. I was in sweat pants and a tank top. My hair was piled on top of my head and I had socks on. I was decidedly not as presentable as I was the night before. And last night? Bill kept asking me why I was teasing him. He kept reaching out to touch me. "You're showing some skin," he said as he laid his hand on my hip. My answer? "That's because my tank top is too small." To say I wasn't feeling sexy is an understatement. He, on the other hand, seemed to LOVE this version of me. I reached over him to grab something off his desk and he asked, "Did you do that just to show off your boobs?" I laughed. I told him I had done that just to grab what I wanted and if my boobs distracted him, more power to me.
We were watching another show of the West Wing a little later and he was snuggling up to me. I love snuggling but I was perplexed. I finally turned and looked at him. "What is going on? Last night I was in sexy brand new lingerie, my hair was done, and I had had wine, so I was decidely tipsy, and you weren't interested. Tonight I am in a tank and sweats and you can't keep your hands off me. What is the deal???"
He then proceeded to give me a lesson in the minds of men. He told me that lingerie is for women. I gave him the "wth are you talking about" look. He told me lingerie makes women feel pretty and therefore men can take advantage of women feeling pretty and thus a little more adventurous. But, ultimately, lingerie is really for women to feel good about themselves and has no real effect on men. Further, that's why it's acceptable for men to buy women lingerie as a gift because it is FOR the woman.
Since I have no reason to think he's lying to me, he never has before, I can assume this: I really should quit wasting my money on lingerie, although sometimes it does make ME feel better. I should hang up the hopes and dreams I had of ever turning him on with something lacy/silky/black/red/white. And if I ever want to have sex again I should run around in sweats. Yup, I think that covers it. :D
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